The one where I ramble....

Welcome to Monday everyone!  It's a manic day....yet again.

Last week kind of got turned all upside down.  And I don't feel like I really accomplished the things I wanted to share.

I did spend 2 whole days going through all the kids clothes that I have saved over the years, and going completely Peter Walsh on them!  Like I have 6 full bags of clothes to donate.  Not tiny bags.  I'm talkin' the GREAT BIG, BLACK, OUTDOOR kind.  It's a lot.

I feel really GREAT about having it done.  And I still have plenty of good clothes to play hand-me-down if we ever decide to have another child.  And now all the bins fit nicely into the "clothes storage" closet.

It wasn't however, really photo worthy.

I might consider showing you...when I make labels.  But right now they have hand-written post it labels.  And I'm COMPLETELY adverse to sharing that.  I can barely look at it myself.

(yes. yes.  I've mentioned it before.  I have a sickness.  I don't feel truly satisfied about a space until it looks like this:)

photo courtesy of: The Container Store the Mecca of all things organized

And no, that space is NO WHERE in my home.  It's just in my brain.  In my dreams.  I might start singing a little Billy Ocean to it...

"get outta my dreams.....get into my c--raft room"
I don't think those were the original lyrics.  But they are the ones I'm offering.

I did spent a delightful day at my own personal Mecca.....THE OL'   Ito the K to the E to the A

I came home with lots of things.  But mostly this bad boy.  He has been given a quest.  A quest to fix up my mail center area.  The place where 2 times in a row, the spelling words got eaten by an invisible monster.  The place where the registration reminder got shoved behind a coupon to KFC.  It's bad people.

I have challenged him to link arms with me as we organize the mess that lurks on the dark side of my fridge.  And to make it not only functional....but completely fantastic as well.

Can it be done?
I feel that it can.  I feel strong.  I have my head band on.  And I even put on my sports bras. (not a typo.  I require 2 of those to truly tame the girls.  That's a story for another day.....or another blog entirely!)

I will have the success or not success here for you next Monday.

I had a completely poopie beginning to my week.
But I did get this little beauty in the mail.
(good thing the Mailman will deliver mail to Ellie G.  'Cause no one knows what name to really put on there....hee hee  hee.)

Isn't this Dr. Seuss bow from 3 Pink Ribbons completely darling?  I just cannot stress two things enough.
#1: I never win anything.  NEVER! I don't even enter anymore.  It's mostly become a way for me to whine about my bad luck.  But now my story will have to morph into:
I never win anything.  Definitely not anything BIG.
I just won a DARLING Dr. Seuss bow for my daughter.
And once, in 3rd grade, I guessed the correct ounces on the worlds largest can of Campbells soup.
72 oz.  Big.  But I guessed it and won!
72 is my lucky number.

#2: I am obsessed with all things Dr. Seuss.  I have quite a few stories memorized word for word.
I know all the songs in the animated versions.
I can name all 23 daves.
I Have 2 stars on thars.  And I think it's the best look for me.
I am working out the math on how I could feasibly carry the tail of Miss Gertrude McFuzz.
I decorated my son's nursery with a great big Cat in the Hat on the wall.
In High School I was in charge of a program at church, and made the entire thing with Dr seuss characters.  And all the commentary rhymed.  Yep.

This is all really just to say that I won, i mean I WON....something that I've always loved.




And then......to help me finally jump out of my emotional funk....I got this box in my mail....

Try to keep your screaming to a dull roar.  Yep there's a real bag in there.  A real one!  I can't wait.  I didn't wait.  It's all set up ready to go somewhere that I need my big boy camera.  Where do I need to go.....someone invite me somewhere fun and photographable....would 'ya?

I did some pretty serious searching before purchase. Being the conscious cheap person that I am, it's hard for me to choke out $100 for a bag.  This bag is UNDER $100.  It feels really well constructed.  It has so many pockets and possibilites....those are the things that make me squeelie with delight.'

I did purchase this bag with my own money, and am just sharing that I REALLY am pleased with it.   And I'm so excited to carry it around a Creative Estates.  Of course, in true Ellie G fashion, I do have a couple ideas up my sleeve.  But we'll see whether that ends up working out.



This just keeps getting more and more random.  I just wanted to share that earlier this week Expressions Vinyl sent an email stating that they were donating 100% of their profits for the day to Japanese aid and relief.

I've looked at their site before, but never very carefully.

I just wanted to share that I had a REALLY great experience ordering from them.  I loved that I can order in smaller quantities.  Just because I might not need a giant roll of hot pink vinyl.  (or I might......you don't know)  Anyway, I bought a BUNCH of new colors to try.  And also some glossy outdoor vinyl as well.  Can't wait to get started on some more vinyl projects.

Oh and ps....the shipping was so stinkin' lickety split.  I was actually surprised!

• And speaking of the Mailman.  

*Mailman makes me think of postman which makes me wanna sing "hey hey wait a minute Mr. Postman...." in a 1950's poofy dress with heels on.
It also makes me think of the Mailman....Karl Malone....and how I used to love him dearly.  And how, I pretty much still do.  And that's okay.

The mailman will hopefully have brand new business cards on my door tomorrow.  And I will just admit now....that I will hold them and touch them, and I might sniff them too.
I'm pretty secure in you knowing that my having my own business cards is a full circle moment for me.


Now, just to wrap up "the one where she rambles"
That title is an homage to the way they used to name "Friends" episodes.  
And I am grieved to inform you that teenagers today, don't know the vernacular.  
They don't get the joke that I effectively said to my friend, who has a cold,....it went something like, "well if they fix your cold you won't be able to sing "smelly Cat" with your sexy voice anymore."  
Funny!  Right?

• The devil lives in the Easter Candy isle.  And he is constantly trying to woo me with his "it comes in a tiny little bag"  "C'mon!"  "It's a tiny bag."  You are a dark one, oh Satan.  And I will not let you make me fat again.  So there.

• Question: When did my butt turn into a pancake?  I don't even like pancakes that much.
• Confession: I am horribly afraid of tsunamis like mortified.  I have never lived by an ocean.  And have spent very little time by one.  But I have at least 1 or 2 dreams a month where I'm running from a tsunami.  Okay, dream experts.  Figure that one out.  
• I got a pedicure with my little sister.  We got gel polish.  and it wasn't free.  But it is super pretty.  I'll let you know if I end up liking it.  I stand MORALLY OPPOSED to naked toes.  I just can't do it.

Finally, I'm about to get out the sap.  It very RARELY comes out people.  VERY RARELY.  If you're adverse to sap....you'll want to vacate the blog on the left or right.

A few of you, either on twitter, or on my personal Facebook Page became aware that last Monday was NOT my favorite day.  And I don't know why it embarrasses me, but it does.
It was the anniversary of the day my dad died.

It comes EVERY year.
Comes and goes.
And some years I barely think of it.
And some years, I get really MAD on that day.
Mad at the situation, and mad at him, and mad at the universe.

This year I was fine, until I talked to several siblings and my Mom, who were struggling.  And I think our collective struggle....and the subsequent realization that we are fairly alone in this struggle....was just too much.  By the evening, I was kind of a mess.

He was a pilot and a contractor.  He died in an airplane accident.  On March 14th, 1984.  I was almost 8.  My brother was almost 6.  My other brother had just turned 3.  And we didn't know it yet, but my Mom was about 2 weeks pregnant with my little sister, who she would have, and raise, all alone.

This is not a pity party for me.  Or my family.  But just to let you know that I am a person.  I have a past.  I have so many issues you could fill a magazine rack.  (get it?  with my issues? Funny.)
I do love to create things.  I love writing and meeting new friends.  I love being a mother.(whole nother story)
And I'm grateful for a husband that called me on Monday, heard me, and brought flowers and dinner home.  That was helpful.

That's my reality.  I'm fairly aware on most days, that I don't have a father.  That my kids don't have a grandfather.  Holidays are harder.  Father's Day is not generally my friend.  We don't really celebrate his birthday anymore.  But I might think about it.
But on this day where I can't help but remember that day.
And the thoughts.
And the people.
And the flowers.
And the crying.
And the isolation.
And the sadness.

And how on some days I still feel picked on, and lonely.
The whole "time heals all wounds" means that time lets a scab develop.  A skin that will protect that open wound from infection.  But it doesn't fix the ache inside.  Nor does it stop the wound from opening at a COMPLETELY inopportune time.

We generally deal with his absence with a lot of snarky humor.  And making lists of who's gonna beat him up first.  (Mom is still trying to make her case.  She might win.)

Anyway,
Sometimes I worry that you don't actually know who I really am.  And you may think that I come home to a house with labels, and pretty decorations, and the iPod jammin'.

While some of that is true.  Most of it is just a guise.  A way for me to hide behind the fact that Monday sucked the BIG ONE.  And no one, except my Mom and Siblings, really got that.   And it's a lonely feeling.  And one that we get embarrassed about.  Because it shouldn't bother us anymore.  'Cept it still does.

I trust you to be gentle with knowing the "real" me and not just the "Ellie G" me.  She has got it pretty together.  The real me is just hopin' to make it to 10AM without needing a Diet Coke.  Yeah.  Like that's gonna happen.

Thank you for humoring me, those of you who stuck around.  I promise that tomorrow we'll be back to our regularly scheduled awesomeness.......